Shakespeare TV

Is BB really the Big Bard of our generation? Sir Willy wrote his human pot boilers for the great unwashed and there's other parallels too......

Romeo & Juliet

The Montagues and Capulets have been displaced and are now living together in a corrugated shed in Borehamwood. Battle lines have been drawn as the two camps eye each other suspiciously across the bedroom from their crimson duvets.

Our Romeo and Juliet have been doomed from the start. Whilst Karly did her best to 'nurse' their relationship it was clear that this Montague has commitment issues. It wouldn't be a dagger that tore this tortured couple apart. It was 65% of the voting viewers who sent this Romeo to his fate.

Macbeth

Freddie is the misunderstood royal in the house. An outcast and full of angst. He so wants to be loved but is thwarted at every step by a manipulative Lady M (Noirin) and a coven of witches (Lisa, Karly & Sophie).

Prone to dramatic speeches, he reached his pinnacle this week with a passionate and blood stirring tour de force that put said Lady M well and truly in her place. It was like losing his mousy locks had actually given him the strength to truly become a worthy king. A bit like Samson in reverse!

A Midsummer Night's Dream

Charlie is our King of the Fairies. A Geordie Oberon who loves prancing round the garden with his wood nymphs (Karly & Sophie) and has spent the last couple of weeks avoiding Rodrigo's 'bottom'.

The man has poise and grace until it comes to the tasks. Haven't they realised by now that Charlie has 2 left feet and is about as agile as a tortoise. Having seen his previous form, who in their right mind thought it was a good idea to let him try his luck on a unicycle?

Othello

Marcus is the house General. Moody and besotted with a beautiful trollop. He spends much of his time in the house obsessing over conspiracies with his lieutenants Siavash and Freddie. They both take huge delight in fuelling his paranoia and jealousy. I can't see a happy for this troubled soldier.

I think Noirin should be wary of his invitations to join him on his bed. There's a pillow under that duvet with her name on it!

Taming of the Shrew

Talking of Noirin. The fiery Dubliner who is both loved and feared by the men of the house took things to a new level this week. Siavash became the next victim of her wrath with a public humiliation in front of the smirking courtiers.

Noirin is the mistress of tease and spurn and if anyone dares to cross her then she'll turn on them like a cobra with a migraine. Marcus has taken several knocks from the Irish harridan but like Sree before him, is resolute in his chase. I don't think this Petruchio is going to win her hand and he's likely to be sacrificed at the next weekly cull.

Hamlet

Rodrigo really is the tortured soul of the house. The dashing Brazilian prince obviously has unresolved issues that are leading to more ups and downs than Kerry Katona.

Maybe he should do a Duncan James and relieve himself of his burden. To be gay or not to be gay? That is the question.

Richard III

Lisa wants to be top dog and enjoys nothing better than shit stirring and trying to ingratiate herself with her allies in the house. Her plotting and scheming from the bus stop has gone unnoticed by some of the housemates who see her as some sort of hero.

I think her days are numbered. With 4 new housemates going in next week she'll really get the hump. I bet her paranoia will consume her and I for one will love watching her descent into madness.

Much Ado About Nothing

Says it all really :-)