Shameless

King Terry put the cat amongst the pigeons with his nominations. Ulrika sulked, Lucy gave us a fake smile and Ben said nothing, as usual. It was obvious that talentless Lucy would be evicted. She’s only known for getting her kit off in the red tops so it was no big surprise that her cover up strategy was the worst game plan since Nasty Nick. Please take note Ben!

The best part of Terry’s King task was Latoya’s entrance wearing a jester’s outfit and a false nose that kept falling off. I think the joke went over her head. American’s don’t get irony.

I was hoping to love Tina Malone but this coarse battle axe is just Mimi Maguire with the volume turned up. The sight and sound of her biting her toe nails last week made me sick up a bit of Cornish Pastie.

She claims to be a vulnerable, introvert with a tight arse. The woman is clearly deluded or just a thick twat. She says she wants to lose a bit of weight from her fanny so perhaps that answers my question. I think a heavy minge is least of your worries love. She looked like she was wearing the Diary Room walls in her red Lycra outfit during the electric shock task.

The complete opposite of the Scouse scumbag is Ben Adams. Easy on the eye and self aware, he admits to being the most boring person to have ever stayed in the Big Brother House. I hope he comes out of his shell soon. Getting out of his clothes might help his cause too. Smoking fags and avoiding Michelle’s bum are just not going to win the public over.

Can’t believe Terry said he thought Ulrika was high handed with people at times and yet he sucks up to Coolio at every opportunity. I can’t be doing with men who think it’s OK to have a go at women at every opportunity and yet are quite happy to sit back and accept appalling behaviour by members of the same sex. Shame on you Tel.

I’m not sure I was totally convinced by Michelle’s tearful tantrums this week but why they are allowing Coolio to verbally abuse her and the other females in the house is beyond me. Is it really OK for a man to use abusive language to a woman and then dismiss it later as only playing a game? I wonder what Coolio’s reaction would be if a man ‘joked’ like that with one of his daughters.

Coolio said that the first time he came to London he was a f**king dumb ass. So no change on this trip then.

I’m starting to think that this year’s Jackson is not quite as sweet and innocent as she makes out. Whilst everyone berated Coolio for winding up Michelle & Ben it was actually Latoya who was going around planting the love seeds to anyone who would listen. Her nomination for Ulrika was hilarious. She started off giving a soppy reason until Big Brother dismissed it. Without batting a false eyelash she blurted out a bitch tirade that showed us a glimpse of her true feelings.

I always thought Tommy was a bit of an arrogant toe rag when I’ve seen him on the box but he seems to be a big teddy bear. A very furry teddy bear at that. I’ve not see hairy legs like that since Jo Brand played the Fairfield Halls in Croydon.

Tommy’s not the only hairy housemate this year though. Ben has a thick thatch and someone needs to lend Mutya a BIC for her pits. I know they’re on a tight budget but you can get a pack of 5 for less than a pound so there’s really no excuse for unsightly frizz.

Verne is getting a bit crabby but who can blame him. The housemates are so bored they’ve started inventing games like Catch the Midget.