Summer Nights

You're the one that I want

Summer loving has definitely hit the Big Brother House this year. Kris is canoodling with Dogface but after BB asked if their romance was fake there's definitely an element of paranoia setting in. The cute and fluffy sweethearts are constantly seeking re-assurances from their fellow housemates about each other's intentions. Karly is relishing her role as Go Between as she clip clops from one to the other in her strappy heels.

Dogface has a bit of competition for Kris' affection though as Charlie follows him around in his shorts 24/7. Charlie's entire wardrobe appears to consist of shorts, shorts and more shorts. Newcastle girls are legend for going out without their skirts on. Charlie appears to be doing the reverse. Kris is playing along with his mincing mate and actually looked quite comfortable doing Girls Aloud routines in the garden with his camp chum. Metrosexual takes a lot of practice and this lad, in top to toe All Saints, has done his homework.

Grease is the word

No I don't mean Marcus' pony tail. I'm talking about Mayonnaise soup. Angel decided to go on a hunger strike in support of Noirin and her campaign to get her glasses and moustache removed. Not the most clever of ideas when your on national TV and already have a body that resembles a xylophone. I thought someone was going to mistake her for their Old Bamboo ;-) She stuck to mayonnaise soup and pasta water for 4 days but Big Brother refused to be intimidated and all she achieved was an even more sallow complexion, sunken eyes and a load of flack from Lisa.

Look at me I'm Sandra Dee

Apparently Charlie's parents didn't know he was gay until recently. He's obviously making up for lost time in the house and is fast becoming this year's disco diva. His rendition of Something Kinda Oooh obviously swayed the house into giving him the role of lead dancer in the Chitty Chitty Bang Bang task. More fool them. Girls Aloud - good dancing? They should have chosen Sree. He's an expert barn dancer in India, after all. They deserved to fail the task. Predictably Charlie turned out to have 2 left feet and about as much rhythm as a wheelie bin. Somehow they managed to pass the task despite Charlie's clumsy efforts. He consoled himself by squeezing into a pink rara skirt and skipping around the garden during one of Angel's keep fit classes. I want to like Charlie but can't help feeling it's all a bit forced.

Beauty school drop out

I'm really starting to like Karly. OK she's thick as mince ('what's horticulture') but you have to admire her commitment to fashion and beauty. She seems to be a good judge of character and have very little talent. In fact she could be the perfect Big Brother housemate. Oh and she can click her hip although I'm not quite sure if that will be a vote winner.

There are worse things I could do

After Freddie's egg salad faux pas last week it was Sree's turn to have a kitchen catastrophe. His lunchtime treat for his fellow housemates was raw bacon sandwiches with a garnish of cheese & onion crisps. Students eh!

Sree also had a run in with surly Cairon in the kitchen. The grouchy teenager was beside himself with rage because hapless Sree moved his cereal bowl a couple of inches on the worktop. Not the most clever strategy when you're up for eviction.

Hopelessly devoted to you

Despite being almost poisoned by Sree's snack, Lisa was very supportive when his romancing of Noirin went completely off the rails before it even got out of the station. It's been really uncomfortable veiwing. Sree has not taken the rejection well and is becoming more nasty and bitter by the day. I don't understand why the housemates are pandering to his childish and spiteful behaviour. I think he's the most camera savvy person in there. People that bang on about respect all the time usually don't have any for anyone else.

Blue Moon

Marcus the wolfman has drooling over bosoms all week. The self proclaimed Captain Cool as f**k has shown very little of said cool in the way he's been behaving around Sophie and Noirin. However I have to say I've been loving the way he's been winding up Sree with his offers to swap a can of cider for a sneaky peep of Noirin's boobs. Mind you I don't think he's gonna have much chance unless he starts paying as much attention to his personal hygiene. Musky pits and sour gums don't cut it with this pack of bitches.

We go together

The most bizarre bromance this year is between Cairon and Siavash. This odd couple are all over each other. Grooming and washing each other like a couple of neutered tom cats. They've become more and more tactile as their love blossomed before us. They finally declared their feelings for each other by painting smiley faces on their hairy bums. Romance is alive and well in Borehamwood.

It was a romance that was to be cut short as Davina announced that Cairon was the next person to be evicted from the Big Brother House. In typical Cairon fashion he appeared to be half asleep on the sofa as the house went live and ambled up the stairs and out to oblivion looking like Gangsta version of Blakey from On The Buses.

Looks like Freddie is the man to beat. He's the Susan Boyle of BB10. Daft as a brush and canny sing!